By Susanna Ball
This was our 4th baby, a surprise baby no-less! I went into the pregnancy completely shocked but I knew exactly how I wanted to birth this time around. I had already experienced a hospital induction and natural unmediated in hospital births, this time I was absolutely positive home birth was what I wanted and later I’d find out it was absolutely what I needed.
All of my other children have come in my 39th week so as I approached 39 weeks I became causally optimistic that this sweet baby would follow the trend of his brothers and sister.
The night it began was completely normal as it has always been before. We put our older two children to bed, I crawled into bed with our toddler promising my husband, Shawn, I’d come back out to spend some alone time together, knowing I’d peacefully fall asleep right along with him. Our 2 year old was still nursing so I laid down, cuddled up, and tried to nurse him to sleep while also finding myself some comfort.
At around 10pm I woke to my first surge. It was immediate excitement! In the end of pregnancy I find myself paying attention to each little twinge in my body, so to finally feel the real thing was exciting!
I laid back down trying to stay positive but calm. I knew I felt comfortable happily going to 42 weeks so if this wasn’t it, that was okay. I didn’t want to wake my husband or disturb anyone until I felt confident it was time. Enough time passed that I began to drift back to sleep only to be awoken by another surge, I quickly glanced back at my phone, 12 minutes from the last. I decided to use the restroom to see if perhaps I needed to go. I told myself to causally keep track of the time while avoiding putting any timing guidelines on my body. The moment I walked back into our bedroom, another. I couldn’t contain my happiness any longer so I went to tell my husband. As soon as I said his name it’s almost like he had already known what was going on the entire time, he got up immediately and asked me what I was feeling. I told him I was struggling to find comfort on the bed so he suggested we go to the living room. He grabbed the pillows and blankets and I sent a text to my midwife. I wasn’t convinced. I didn’t want her to be convinced either. I know my body and I know I have long labors. I always keep an open mind as our bodies are capable of anything and birth is never consistent from one birth to another… but I knew a strong mindset was absolutely needed to get me through the coming hours!
My husband and I cuddled on our pullout couches both of us drifting in and out of a hazy sleep waking to work through the next surge trying to make sure I rested in between. At around 4am my husband looked at the time, 6 hours in now. He looked at me, in yet another surge, once he felt like it had passed he calmly asked what I needed. Trying to stay quiet and allow me to lead but also beginning to wonder if it was time to take the next step. No. It wasn’t. I could feel that I was still in the first hours of the process. This is where that strong mindset would really come in handy! Things continued consistently every 8-12 minutes until about 7am it all stopped. I had been going for 9 hours at this point, it became like a trance of deep breathing, drifting in and out of sleep only waking enough to find my husbands hand and turn into him so like second nature as the 12 minutes passed I started my breathing awaiting the next surge that never came. I woke up a little startled thinking, had I really just done all that, was it real? It’s just over? Trying not to let negative thoughts come into my mind I got up to text my midwife again. Okay… well… what a night! Time to move on about our daily school routine. I laid down in our bed with about 30 minutes to spare before I had to wake my older children. Like clockwork Preston rolled over to me to nurse, now about 30 minutes from my last surge. I got comfy and gave him the go ahead to come cuddle up with me and nurse, moments after he latched, another surge!!!! Yay!
At this point my midwife and I were communicating back and forth I’m telling her how I’m feeling, she’s listening and allowing me to take my next step. She did let me know she had a client to see that afternoon about an hour away and asked if I needed or wanted her to stick around. No, I was okay I knew it wasn’t time. She encouraged me to hold my belly and breathe love to my baby and to rest.
Things picked right back up from the moment he latched, every 8-12 minutes like before. I knew I had time, long labors are definitely my body’s way, I didn’t want to get caught up in the time. As I was getting our little ones up my husband asked if he should stay or head to work here in town. I really wanted to keep my mind off of the time and just listen to the changes my body was making so I sent him off to work promising I would let him know how I was doing. He hesitated but I assured him it was fine. Our oldest son had to be to school by 8:25am and our daughter at 9:15. He was able to take our son and I decided although I was in labor I could manage our daughter I just didn’t feel comfortable driving. Thankfully my wonderful friend Cortney offered to pick us up, help me get her off to school and spend the day with me to keep my mind focused and give me some company! She picked up Sophie, Preston, and I then off we went. We got Sophie to school safe and sound surges intensifying in the car with a lack of space to find as much comfort but still consistently 8-12 minutes apart. After saying our goodbyes to Soph, we headed where else? Walmart! I wanted to do a little walking to naturally move things along but it was for practical reasons as well, we were low on laundry soap, I wanted more wax melts for my warmer- this was mid October I was ready to welcome my baby into a home filled with the sweet aroma of all the pumpkin things!
By the end of our trip I could feel a change, timing stayed the same but the intensity was growing. It was such a fun time, 2 moms, one in labor, 3 toddlers, some people probably think I’m crazy but it’s exactly what I needed! I also felt myself drawing to my space now. I wanted to be home. I was ready to finalize my room and be close to my comfort zone.
At about 2pm I made the hard decision to call grandma to come pick Preston up. I knew I wanted my children home but he’s a wild hearted toddler and at this point 16 hours in the intensity was ever growing. I could no long speak through or smile but still staying about 8 minutes apart. I stopped focusing on the timing and began listening to the change in intensity and position of my baby. I sent my husband a little text, I was ready for him to be home. I gave Preston a hug and kiss, such a hard goodbye. I knew the next time I saw him our nursing journey together would change, our roles we’re also changing, him into a big brother and me into a mother of 4. He said goodbye and left with grandma to go ride horses. It put my mind at ease, he was happy, he was safe. Now it was time to focus.
At a little past 3pm my oldest son, Liam, arrived home from school thanks to Cortney. The moment he walked in he showed me that he had lost his first tooth and then I lost it! The tears started flowing here I was ready to bring my newest baby into the world while my oldest was growing right before my eyes. I thought back to his birth and held him close through my next surge. I needed that moment. Soon after around 4 in came Sophie and Shawn. Sophie was thrilled she had been waiting for this moment just as I had. Months before she insisted she would be the one to catch the baby, so today was her big day as well!
During this process I’m keeping in touch with my midwife, Amy, and my Aunt in-law, Kate, who was also our photographer. Everyone was sure I was ready to have them start to make their way to me, not yet. We decided to carry on with our evening my husband took over dinner and baths for Liam and Sophie. I walked around the house stopping, surging, breathing, repeating. My husband would break from his task to find me and hold me rocking together until he needed to return to what he was doing. The feeling was amazing. In my own home with my family I felt so loved and so in love. We kept this going until around 7pm, at that point I had only had surges every 8 minutes growing immensely with pressure. Suddenly I would have these strong, intense surges 8 minutes then 2 minutes later, 8 minutes then 1 minute. I started to time them after the first odd ball. I texted Kate and Amy who were both an hour away from me and told them I was ready to have them. My body had been hard at work and so had my mind. For me birth is as mental as it physically. Keeping myself from venturing into thoughts I knew wouldn’t help me progress. After failing my attempts to self check I asked Amy to please check my cervix the moment she got here, 20 hours of labor so far and I was ready to know what my body was doing. As she came in I was in the kitchen preparing a full charcuterie board, I had snacks and drinks for everyone! I wanted all of us to enjoy this night as a celebration. I put Shawn in charge of finishing up while I went into our room with Amy so she could check me. I was hopeful! I had worked so hard for 20+ hours at this point, surely we were close! She waits for my next surge, it’s intense enough for me to need to call Shawn over for comfort trying to relax my muscles and allow this wave to sweep me in and gently lay me back down. I open my eyes and just said okay. She gloves up checks me and said the hardest words I’d ever heard!!! “You’re at a two” A WHAT! Yes. A two. At that moment I wanted to cry. How had it taken me this long, how much longer do I have to go? I stopped those wild thoughts and reminded myself that my body and my baby knew exactly what they were doing, working together. It’s only a number. It took a lot of mental strength to trust the process. This would ring true for my entire labor at times a thought would drift into my mind worried my body was stalling or my labor wouldn’t progress… deep breaths, redirecting my mindset and getting back to the present would be what truly got me through this labor.
At this point Amy said she would head back home to allow me space and come back when things got closer. I looked at my husband and knew it would all be just fine I was having a baby no matter what, it would just take patience. As she answered her phone to talk to her assistant I had a very strong surge, followed by another and then another all moments away from each other. I didn’t even have time to open my eyes or let go of Shawn’s hand. Amy sensed that there was more going on, I did as well. She hung up and asked me if I’d like to walk up the stairs and sit on the toilet backwards to allow my pelvis to open. Of course! I was happy to do what I could to encourage my sweet boy to join us earthside. Up my 16 steps onto the toilet I had another. I asked Amy to check me again this time feeling to see what my cervix was doing during the surge. immediately she says, “I’m feeling a very open 4!” Yay! A huge sigh of relief, it’s only a number your body is doing amazing. I was over the moon it was just the mental push I needed to keep going.
Kate arrived followed by Cortney everyone was here and I couldn’t have been any happier.
Around 10pm I decided it was time for our older two little ones to head to bed, they were eagerly awaiting his arrival but I knew we still had some time to go and wanted them to be as rested as possible. Cortney, as amazing as she is read my children a bedtime story so Shawn and I could stay focused on working through my surges. At this point I was feeling exhausted a full 24 hours in. It was time for some hypnobirthing tracks and cuddling with Shawn on the bed to get all that oxytocin following. I felt myself drifting in and out only awakening at the peak of my surge and drifting back out as it subsided. The feeling was starting from my uterus and radiating through my thighs I told myself this was it, I have to succumb to this feeling. It was a feeling I knew very well, a feeling that brought me my 3 other children and would soon bring me this beautiful boy as well.
My track was 27 minutes long, by the time it ended I awake to a silent house. Everyone was sleeping, the only lights on were my twinkle lights hanging above my birth pool over a piece of tapestry. It was the definition of peace. As I sat up Amy awoke on the couch near me and asked how I was feeling. I felt amazing inside so calm but I couldn’t find comfort anymore. No position would help so Amy suggested I try a hot shower before getting into my pool. As I walked through the house and into my room I stopped as a surge came right by my sleeping little ones. I bent down over the bed and let that wave take me over. I was so filled with love, so at peace but very ready. Shawn woke up to find me on my hands and knees allowing the water from the shower to massage my back. He bent down to kiss my forehead and asked if I wanted him to join. I didn’t. I wanted space, I wanted to be alone to have these last moments to focus, to enjoy and to be present. This was our last child, child birth was a part of my life that would soon be coming to a close, I wanted to cherish even the hardest moments.
The moment I got out I knew things were progressing very quickly. With all of the commotion everyone besides Liam and Sophie woke up. I made my way back into my birth space. Stoping for one surge over my kitchen island. I remember feeling the intense warmth of the peak and needing to rest my head, squat down and stand on the balls of my feet because the heat was radiating down to my feet. Shawn helped walk me in my birthing room where I started to feel a bit worried. What do I need to do to bring this baby out?? The answer was absolutely nothing but I was in a moment of concern, it had been 26 hours of intensity I knew my body could do it so I asked for someone to make a call to my Mom who lives states away from us and couldn’t make it in time. As always my Mother was a voice of strength when I was struggling to find the strength in myself. Amy reassured me she would be by my side holding space as long as I needed, Shawn filled me with positive affirmations and endless love, Kate and Cortney made me feel like the amazingly strong birthing woman I was in that moment! Just like that my cup was over flowing and I knew I had the strength. I also knew we were in transition I felt the need to throw up as I always do. After that it was absolutely time for to get into the pool. I had been holding off to allow it to be my last sense of relief to get me to the end. It was exactly that.
The next surge I had I was extremely alert, I was so ready. The room was bursting with happiness as we all joked about our favorite tv show, The Office. I quoted a line, felt a surge coming on and got up onto my knees. My body took over, full on barring down overtook me. Amy sat up, its time to wake the kids! Kate rushed off to get them up, Sophie had already set out her swimming suit so she was back in a rush ready to get in. I lifted my head to see her climbing in I gave her a kiss and asked her if she was ready to meet her baby brother. We both were! Shawn sat directly in front of me, Liam beside him. I was in a full trance no more speaking completely focused. Each time a surge would begin I reached my hand out waiting for Shawn to grab it, it felt like completely unspoken love and support. My next surge was no longer barring down it was full on pushing. It was such a relief! I found pushing to be the best pain reliever. One more push and his head was out! I sat back Sophie right in front of me ready to receive her sweet baby brother, another push and there he was, our sweet baby Reece was finally here! The room filled with tears! I helped Sophie lift him out of the water and to my chest. Both of us completely in awe. I turned to my husband and son both right by my side. Liam got to cut the cord and after our first feeding Dad spent his time doing skin to skin to bond with our newest love. It was an amazing experience that I am beyond thankful for.
All of my children are amazing, each birth was filled with love and joy but I truly feel that this birth was an experience all for me. Home birth was something I never knew I needed but I am so thankful I had. Reece is now 5 months old and has just fit into our family like a little missing puzzle piece.
Midwifery provided by Amy of Well Rounded Midwifery
bornathomecolumbus.com 